Get your Rocks off… and other prehistoric jokes (Far Cry Primal)

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Be warned if you continue reading after this point you will encounter the following:

  1. Light spoilers
  2. My opinion, given with no regard to other’s opinions
  3. Occasional Adult Language and Concepts, because … you know.

If you played Far Cry 4 there’s a decent chance, that like me you never finished it. If you did, well good for you but I’m not that interested in flogging a dead horse to the finish line and ‘Farce’ Cry 4 was dead on arrival.

So I avoided the new one like the plague, even though the Stone Age premise sounded a bit diff. Then I started hearing positive reviews and recommendations from people I knew so I gave it an extended look and bought it on a half price sale.

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Going down to Arrow Town…

One hour in and and it’s fucking awesome.

There’s no gadgetry, no vehicles and you have to gather resources and craft (which I usually hate) to make weapons and get upgrades. Despite it being all the things I dislike it somehow works as a game. There’s a skill tree with upgrades you actually want, and the ones you don’t really want are on the way to something you do, so you upgrade as much as you can.

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Sprint Forever? Total Caveman Realism!

Cavemen, tribes, fire worshippers, Shamen and vision quests, all the prehistoric greatest hits. And there’s nothing really new about the game-play or ground-breaking innovations, it’s all the same stuff in a different skin, yet it’s still BRILLIANT!

Arrows to the head of your enemy? Total Dopamine-Blasting awesomeness!

Sending a wave of enemies berserk and fighting each other? Gratifying as fuck!

Lighting the guard tower made of wood and hay on fire with guards still in it? Fire good!

Sending in your tame Great Scar Bear to lay waste your enemies while you throw fire, bees and spears at them? Go get ’em Yogi!

These are all things you will do, and love! … If you’re an complete psychopath. So um… yeah I totally enjoyed that, I may need to heavily medicate the disturbingly homicidal part of me later…

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Om Nom Nom… 

It’s open world, mission based, non-linear and a barrel load of fun. Fast Travel (another staple of the primitive world) makes traversing mission to mission easier and soon you can also tame wild and deadly beasts. Though really you just kind of wave your hand and say shush a few times, and they become as tame and compliant as a Playboy Bunny (so again not so much with the realism). In fact as soon as you can, you should totally learn that skill, because you can tame things like wild dogs all the up the food chain to Sabretooth Tigers.

Nothing says ‘I’m Stone Age Boss!’ like cruising the savannah on the back of a buck-toothed killing machine. And since you can use them as a weapons, let them die and then resurrect them, you can take out a shit-load of your enemies the easy way until you power up and get to the boss fights.

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Ow’ll be seeing you…

Is it good? Yes.

Is it worth full price? Probably not, but anywhere above a 30% discount off RRP is pretty decent and you should get days to weeks of hard-at-it gaming before you chuck aside your bow for an AK-47 and answer your next Call-Of-Duty.